You, who know me, know me as outgoing, happy and independent. You see strength, ambition and rebellion. Where my strength falls short, you pick up. We have intelligent to absolutely retarded conversations and outtings. Days, weeks, months and even years can go by w/o any exchange of communitcation b/t us, but you know you can always call or write to me and get a speedy response; as if no time had passed since the last we met or spoke. You tell people “That’s just Daisy” when there is no other explicable reason. We found each other and we haven’t nor ever will let go. That is friendship. Thank You, my closest friends

Since you know me so well (or as best as I’ve been able to show), can you tell me why am I so friggin straight edge?! Lord knows how much trouble/fun/excitement we’ve had and how often we never stopped =oD But I don’t get why I’m so behind all of you. Some of you even blew me away with the drugs you’ve tried or the escapades you’ve encountered. Why am I, the unholy instigator, so fuckin pure?! I hate that, you all know it! Why aren’t I a coke head yet? a prostitute or high end call girl?! in jail? DEAD!! I used to be all over the place (well, still am ;o) and now, upon reflection, I feel left behind all the people I ran with to the extremes of the world. Am I now boring? prude? old-fashioned? a stick-in-the-mud!? It can’t be me!

I don’t need drugs or alcohol or sex to feel high – most of you wonder what drug I take to begin with since I’m always bouncin around. Why do you do it? What am I missing? It never bothered me that you made your own choices; in fact, I chose to remain friends with you because of your willingness to stand out, defiant and alone. Whatever course of action you have taken, I have supported you, even if I never voiced it as so. It still doesn’t bother me that sometimes we’re so different cuz that’s the quality I like about you   It’s me that I can’t figure out this time… why do you remain friends with me? I seem so square – not the girl you met by getting run into or felt animosity from  

You wonder what triggered this sudden soul searching? Why, what used to never bother me (my lack of substance usage), is suddenly eating me away? It’s the realization that people change *GASP* Not that I’m afraid of change (ALWAYS welcome, esp on this damn island) , it’s just that I feel I’m behind because I haven’t gone through a metamorphasis like the rest of you. You used to tell me that I should never change, I should stay just the way I am. Well, it seems like I need to now, doesn’t it?

I miss you, my friends.


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