I am not tooting my horn about all the admirers and stalkers to have passed through my life, this is a tutorial and perhaps, a warning on how effing dangerous being the unrequited love object of another (unwelcome) person’s advances are and how damaging being stalked extends.
I met my WORST stalker in march 2007/08 (year is a little hazy since I was undergoing some serious medical treatment involving radiation and painkillers, but 2007 does seem more familiar since my college ex was w/ me in April ’08 while I finished up physical therapy) – this guy was thoroughly delusional but appeared VERY normal in his speech and had (like we all do) his own set of “quirks” that I should have read from the get-go as INSANE ALERT. In approximately 8 weeks of knowing him (b/c seriously, lesson learned, WTF can you really *know* about a person in such short time w/o love which there was none), he’s telling me how no other will ever compare to me and that she’ll always be silver to my gold, how he’ll take care of me and I’ll be the perfect wife, yadda yadda. It sounds sweet until you took into account the unfocused look he had in his eyes when he spoke of “our future” and the MINUTE to MINUTE updating he took on both my blog and FB, nevermind the hourly calls and manipulative demands (which couldn’t be refused b/c he ultimately always said, “Oh, then I’ll just show up at your door” regardless of the f*cking hour thereby disturbing everyone within 5 ft of me and the front door). When I tried very patiently to break off contact with him, there came rose bouquets with obsessive love stories (something about swallowing worry-dolls?!), emails with doctored pictures and of course, the phone calls. So how did I get rid of this one? In the most dramatic way =oD I told him I was pregnant and acted very insistently that I didn’t want anymore to do with him in my or the (unbeknown to him) nonexistent fetus’ life. Ironically, THAT’S when he only got the message I wanted him out of my life! Having to resort to these CRAZY measures (which any close friend will tell you take immense pressure for me to do) didn’t guarantee he’d leave me alone – he still stalked my blog for a long while. I haven’t seen him nor heard from him and God willing, that’s the way it will be for the rest of my and my boyfriend’s life.
My loving boyfriend deserves mention b/c the above stalker didn’t fully quit until someone new was visibly in my life ^_^ Don’t worry, I learned my lesson and my strong man is as straight and sane as the storybook tales of knight’s in shining armor =o)
Stalker/admirer ranked number two, in terms of insanity level, was mostly benign. He knew about my xanga and would message me every now and again and we had fairly brief conversations (akin to how are you? Good, thanks. Yourself? Fine.) You get the idea ;o) I stopped talking to him b/c my boyfriend and I got together and completely forgot about him all together. Unfortunately, he didn’t forget about me and a year of silence prompted him to find me on FB (a REALLY hard thing to do considering all the locks and blocks I’ve set up). He acted like he knew me from HS (natch!) and when I finally got around to confronting him in FB’s convo system, he said he knew me from online and that we had spoken. I searched my memory banks AND his profile and nothing registered (why would meaningless messages from over a year ago mean anything at all, I have no idea). He finally anted up his info and QUICKLY followed with the quip that “he wasn’t into the stalking thing.” Let me clarify, I hadn’t accused him nor remotely suggested I thought he was stalking me. Until he said it, I just thought I was in error and forgot about a long ago person. When I realized the barriers he had to jump to find my profile (WEEKS of 24/7 picture and city searches), I couldn’t have been more relieved that he just slinked away from any further contact. He saw the newly posted batch of pix of me with my beau (nevermind us clearing stating the fact in our profiles ;o). In this case, the stalker got a huge dose of a reality check when he saw my full profile and that’s that.
I def have more to share but it’s late and my nightly boyfriend call is waiting, ciao!