WTF! Seriously, how do stalkers/creeps NOT realize how they come off to people?! There have been no less than 3 in the last week trying to get my attention on FB and AIM: that’s three too many! They’re shady as fuck when they’re “trying to get to know you” (a.k.a. gleaning private information) without any social finesse or understanding of human interaction. When you have a sn on your list (whether it’s AIM, MSN, etc) and you don’t recall who that is, you don’t fucking demand a “profile” or insinuate that you somehow know that person (or persons if it’s a group sn) b/c it’s going to be clear as glass to the “stranger sn” that you don’t know your ass from your mouth. What you do is re-introduce yourself and give an embarrassed acknowledgement of your mistake/forgetfulness because that is what you would do in real life, too. You wouldn’t walk up to a stranger, stare blankly ahead and ask, “Do I know you?” as if the stranger is going to be able to answer that for you (b/c *obviously* every stranger out there has another stranger’s address book). Oh, and if you’re going to try to pull that very lame (AND FUCKING CREEPY) line of, “I know you; we met so and so in x place and time” when the person you’re approaching has photographic memory (yep, this works real well for me in dividing stalkers/creepers from normal people) and calls you on the bullshit, be ready for mace in your eyes or police officers and handcuffs right behind ya. Lastly, if your sn matches to your personal website (NOT a dating profile), just apologize for being an ass.

For the other disgusting pigs, when someone tries to gently/politely tell you that there’s no interest (especially NOT one atom or quark of sexual interest), take it gracefully and walk away. When you try to hammer in (ha, innuendo!) references to arousal, fetishes, *whatever private sexual thing that you WOULD NOT scream at the top of your lungs to a whole library!*, you deserve to be told you’re a pathetic pile of shit that took too effing long to flush!!! If/when you try to act surprised that your behavior/conversation elicits a punch to your face or groin, DO NOT DARE say, “well, other girls/guys didn’t have a problem with or (god help you) liked it!” That’s when you get a restraining order b/c you’re clearly delusional and at the very least, have checked out of the reality the rest of the 99% world population operates in. Ladies, do yourselves (and your female counterparts) a HUGE favor and STOP being “nice to everyone.” I know, I know – you were raised by your parents to “be nice to everyone” because they were raised with ass-backwards beliefs (i.e. stereotypes) on what a girl should be (so was I). However, after one too many creeps in college or your workplace, you, too, have realized how futile it is to “be nice to everyone” and how it can actually be severely detrimental to your sanity and personal safety. One too many creepazoids/stalkers take advantage of that “be nice to everyone” attitude by pressing onto you attention, obsessions, fantasies, gifts, fetishes (etc, etc) that are NOT wanted, desired or appreciated!!! ASSHOLES: have you got that message? GIRLS ARE NOT NICE TO YOU BECAUSE THEY LIKE YOU! THEY WERE TAUGHT TO “BE NICE TO EVERYONE” AND YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL SO LEAVE THEM ALONE WHEN THEY TELL YOU TO GET LOST >=o/

Jesus christ on a stick, parents LEARN this NEW rule: girls should be assertive and independent and able to physically defend themselves. You, as parents, are doing no favors for your daughter when she finally leaves the home and has to learn to tell the difference from a calculating creep from a dangerous stalker WITHOUT ending up as a missing person case or yet another battered wife. Thank you – I will now step off my soapbox ^_^