With her blessing

Let me predict the future: in the next few months, you’ll find a space all your own. If a “few months” is too vague, then the end of the year will find you securing a rent-contract and the first three months of 2016 will be your moving day. This last quarter of 2015, you’ll find your loved ones again: it’s imperative that you don’t squander it. They know by now it’s substance you need, not pretty words and promises. You use anger as a weapon and shield to keep anyone or anything from hurting you and should you get hurt, you add it to your armor. A peace of mind is a very hard thing to come by if you can’t consolidate your emotional and mental IQ’s.

It’s not fair to your family that you continue freezing them out; you’re also not as slick as you’d like to think because Chris still loves you and the inner desires you don’t voice. Chris and Fits know you better than you think. Fitz apologized for their reaction to me and the treatment of you. I’m not sorry for answering their questions about you because I had nothing left to lose. For you, I’m already dead and so will I answer that one day. Your continued refusal to acknowledge where you were and where you are presently, your frame of mind, belief in yourself and courage to go forth without depending 100% on family were all in part due to me.

I have a date tomorrow, Friday, and last night, your mother gave me her blessing to go do whatever makes me happy. I tried not to hear her frustration and resignation when I told her I had a date last week and I didn’t go because I still love you. It’s not fair to a date or any one who has asked for my attention that my mind and heart are still on you.

As the song lyrics go – just give me a reason, a little bits enough.

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