Mood ring condoms like mood lipstick

Is it offensive if I start laughing during sex because I see this more as entertainment than useful? I loved mood rings as a kid and now dicks (fingers if we’re being EOE?) join in on the fun ^_^ It’s like the time I discovered glow-in-the-dark condoms and realized no one would be able to appreciate the glowing part that was inside of me: also, there was never enough glow power to illuminate me from the inside. That would have been awesome, like putting eggs up to a light to see if there’s a prize or chick developing inside!

I’m not sure if it’s a practical approach to test for disease AFTER the fact. The word prevention is supposed to mean safeguard against an undesired outcome. I totally envision that to mean I’ve got all the 411 to make the call to play or nay BEFORE we get naked. What happens if the condom does change color in the presence of antibodies way post-sex? Do you put it in a baggie, go to your doctor worried about STI’s and gingerly present it to him when he asks how you know you might have x specific disease??? People can’t even make the medical appointment NOW based on suspicion or confirmation from a sexual partner, nevermind a plastic technicolor coat positively indicating you need antibiotics starting 3-4 months ago. Doctors and nurses exist to help the layman determine what, if any illness, course of action to take and not for the average person to say, “My condom turned orange so it looks like I’ve got the clap, so lame.” Though, I can imagine the YEARS of entertainment the medical field will reap from people diagnosing and trying to help themselves, the stories they’ll swap at conventions. The other end of incorrect diagnosis is NO diagnosis – I bet people will be paying attention to the expiration date on condoms a lot more closely. I don’t doubt there could be complete detection failure in some of them.

Obviously, I’m easy to amuse but I wouldn’t be if I glanced down mid coitus and saw a RAINBOW of colors. Between me laughing hard and desperately trying to regroup for a serious conversation, the mood would be over. The scene would be this:

Me: “That right there is something I haven’t seen before…”

Partner: “Oh, well thanks…”

Me: “No, no – um, it’s…how…”

Partner (starting to look concerted): “What? Is something wrong, are you not enjoying this?”

My problem is I start laughing harder the more I try to suppress laughter and I know I’d be pointing down as words fail me. My obit might read, “She knew people have weird insecurities in the sex department but it didn’t stop her from laughing.”

Partner: “What the fuck is your problem?”

Me: “The colors are changing…”

Partner: “The condom is purple colored, what’s the big deal? Do you not like the color?”

Me: “It doesn’t match my sheets?”

and on and on. Holy hell! I get teens could use the technology to start an awkward discussion they otherwise might just ignore. Because denial is the healthy approach towards potentially lifelong illness for them and young adults. Some adults still practice unsafe sex and there are STI’s which a condom can’t prevent even with regular and correct use. My point is you should start looking for my obituary once these hit the market 😀

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