I’m missing someone who didn’t exist so why does that bother me? Reality is that I should be able to strut and cuddle with a fucking gorgeous man whose muscular profile makes it impossible to keep my head out of his pan– the gutter, to keep my eyes on his. My hands visible, his hands on m—, christ, I’m going to lose this battle!
I can handle losing… everything and being pinned down while I’m at it, why not? There’s a time and place for that everything. Minutes of being high on sexual energy into hours of ecstasy suspending time. Knowing my pulse won’t stop climbing even after surrendering my thoughts and body towards the will of another, not until I have my way to complete the circuit of exchange, to receive what I have given in return.
Because a tornado meeting a hurricane will level the hot, sticky tension but it won’t leave anything more dry. I love the teasing feeling of light touches, unrestrained anticipation for the next caress on the next body locale, moving painfully slow kisses and the palpable build of electricity. The exhale of breath on my neck and shoulders traveling down until my back is forced to arch and a gasp pulled beyond my lips. Erotic play isn’t a direct path to sex and sexual release doesn’t require swapping bodily fluids: it is much more and lasting beyond the borders of a bed. I can close my eyes and feel our heat miles and days away. The small hairs on the nape of my neck and the microscopic ones running down my inner thigh prickle, lulling my other senses to a dull state, alert only for incoming pleasure. Is that a whisper of intent or simply a sigh? Do I feel safe enough to drop my insecurities along with everything else that could stop me from enjoying this?
I’m lightheaded with desire and I give into the dizzying effect of muscular arms and strong chest supporting my weight and gently pressing into me. Yes, I have enough trust to hand over sexual control… for now. Lights on or off, music or none, I know every part of me needs fulfillment. Own my breaths, cave into my kisses and unto your body will receive bliss. My nails tracing your abs, thighs and ass and your fingers grasping locks of hair as we hold onto nothing but slick skin, taut muscles! Your right hand holding a fistful of my right hip, my left hand raking up and down your left flank with our controlled body thrusts of moving in tandem. My flesh in your mouth, love bites.
Sit with me and lay with me. See me for who I am, listen to my thoughts and understand I will take what is taken, give what’s given. If I live for nothing else than these moments I will have spent my life well.