What kind of person receives the attention and support from a 3rd party but fails to reciprocate? Especially, when whatever crisis the first was experiencing is over due to the 3rd party acting as a mediator? Is the first party in the wrong by scapegoating a phone call with #3 as an excuse to confront a different and difficult relationship conversation?
How can the 3rd person (a.k.a. me) be a catalyst for a much needed deep discussion between the first with her S.O. while at the same time, blamed for five hours of anxiety and angst in the middle of the night for person #1? It’s a pretty fucked up way of dealing with a broken relationship when one betrays/turns her back on an outside support system. Granted, #1 seized the opportunity to talk about tough topics with her ex but in the wrong manner. You don’t place blame on someone’s amicable attempt to console and reassure you (via a phone call) as the source of your tears, frustrations and bid for attention. You especially don’t do it and pass the buck just because you think you have a handle on your shit and no longer need the backing from friends.You ask the other 3rd party member if you can make her a scapegoat before doing so and bring up subjects that have been on your mind with your ex: because if you don’t, you become a hypocrite (engaging in vicious gossip) and just another reason why I don’t care for many/any girlfriends.
I don’t need nor want weak, petty, dishonest, gossiping, free-loading, co-dependent, thoughtless, disloyal and lying bigot-types in my life. I wash my hands of those types AFTER I give them enough chances to prove that they’re worth my while and to invest in a friendship. I’ve dumped friends for their immaturity (usually it’s lack of growth or too little of it), their lack of foresight/sincerity, devolution into fundamentalist beliefs, their need for constant attention via induced drama, their flakiness and passive-aggressiveness and anything else that strays into extreme negative outlooks/behaviors. It’s two strikes and you’re out: I don’t have the patience to wait around for the third strike. Thusly, I am able to keep positive energy around me and my loved ones. Integrity still matters, people! Words still have god-damn meanings and I am of the type who will hold you to them. So, when the time comes and you’re informed that our friendship is shot dead and over, please don’t act like you don’t know why.