I refuse to be and stay hurt

When you look at your wallet, do you think of me?

When I hold the Kindle, do I hold some aspect of you?

The lines of communication made easier by equipment meant to commune
with each other, God, our loved ones…

I’m not afraid of a life without you, much, anymore
The hurt in your father’s eyes was enough
to let me know I was good and not just to you or them or Benji
It simply didn’t go unnoticed, that goodness is what makes me up

The love songs, scrapbook, tokens and familiar scents
will not always make me cry nor bind me to you
Memories will fade and be replaced with others
My dad’ll remember we’re through without being re-told

I remind myself that I did right by you
Never spilled your secrets or weaknesses
Never exploited them in my favor, my cause
I could have if I gave into my selfishness

Hate isn’t something I want to cultivate
I much prefer being happy and carefree
I know the bad things done to others
Come back to the wrong-doer times three

Even though it still aches to be attached to you
To know I love you and you’re my soulmate
Good will/intention and integrity go a long way
As does restraint and mercy to those undeserving

Our fights will mean nothing 10 years from now
Our actions and conduct will
Our shared life (and bed) ended last Monday

I’ll never know if you did sleep with someone
No proof but neither will you know if I did, too
Your word means nothing when you act as you do
It was your, our love that meant everything

I still love you and I know you’re not the last
I hope you can still love me without anger
Can I keep you in my life?
Will you let me into yours?

 

 

 

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