She says her time is nearly up

(the title originally read, “Her time is up,” but that sounds pretty ominous, doesn’t it?)

My great aunt is 90 y/o. She outlived her older sister by nearly 30 years. Though she doesn’t speak English, she was able to set up and secure a senior assisted living apartment without the assist of her daughters, nieces and nephews. Her mind is still as sharp as a tack though her body is weakening with age. My mother received a call and my great aunt (bew yee paw) started out the conversation with, “My time is coming to an end.” At first, my mom thought she was diagnosed with something terminal or a bad accident occurred. An accident did take place and though few bruises are the only result of a fall near some stairs, my great-aunt was scared and mostly, lonely. I pressed my mom for a better explanation for my great-aunt’s declarative statement and she told me, like my maternal grandmother, a gift of precognition runs through that side of the family. It doesn’t hit every generation and it mostly is passed on from mother to daughter but the strength/intensity is very variable. My bew yee paw said she was being called home. A chill went down my back: I recognized what my mother was saying was true because I’ve known it since I was a child. They called me an old soul and recently, I wondered if old souls are ones who haven’t learned their lesson in their lifetime and so, must be reincarnated until wrong’s are made right. Unless, you’re inline with the Dali Lama and make a conscious choice to return/leave Nirvana. That kind of sacrifice is rare.

They call it a gift, a special ability that is a blessing. My dreams are the clearest picture I can receive, though my conscious hours have allowed breakthroughs when it was a serious matter. As a kid, every time I called out for help in my head, I was answered. Not always immediately (and still not) because the emotional turmoil/happenstance clouded up my hearing and view of the right choice/answer but when I was ready, the message was quickly at my disposal. It’s a sixth sense that I’ve been trying to control because I can’t figure out the purpose of showing me the future – I do know once I become emotionally involved with someone, I can “visit” them… or they visit me (maybe I don’t have it down pat quite yet 😉 )? K2 said something interesting today:

“I’m sorry you have to go through this right now and I wish I could speed it up for you but I can’t: no one can. It’s a process you’re going to have to get through but know you’re not alone. Ever since last Friday, K1 and I have been trying to figure out a way to help you the way you’ve helped us. I know K1 thanks God everyday that Buki has you in his life and because he does, he’s flourishing. My son is speaking whole sentences, he’s using vocabulary we thought would be impossible for him to learn, he can clean up after himself, the stimm-ing is receding as is the bed wetting. Seeing you teary eyed is heart-wrenching for me and K1: he views you as his other kiddos and it’s a terrible feeling to want take away the pain of someone you love and cannot. You’re going to get through it all: you’re smart, strong and heavily desired. I know you can’t see it right now but your Romeo is coming, not to rescue you but to enhance your life like you will for him. When our friends see you out with Buki, they all ask if you’re attached to someone, hee hee! Please, take deep breaths, sleep over, take care of the things you couldn’t while you were with Beck and before you know it, weeks will have passed by. You even said you were unhappy and things had to change: you dodged a hailstorm of bullets. There will be other suitors, even though I can’t shake the feeling you and Beck aren’t over: not the friendly-type feeling over either, the head-over-heels-in-love kind. You may be able to get passed this phase of his and you two will live happily ever after forever. If you can’t forgive it, then what will be, will be. But I can’t emphasize enough the energy I pick up around you and though I’ve never met Beck, I know your relationship isn’t dead. It can’t be – there’s too much vitality around you, Daisy Maisy. Yann said you have one of the brightest, most colorful auras he’s ever come across (and he’s been all over the world) since he discovered his gift to see them. He didn’t need to touch you to know something solid and positive blossoms inside you and when he did touch you, the energy transfer was immediate and very powerful – almost like being struck by lightning: scary but invigorating. I don’t know if you believe in any of this stuff, but I do and I know Yann is right. Relax, stop shaking and take deep breaths. I love you, Kieran loves you and my boys definitely love you. We knew you were special the moment we laid eyes on you and there’s no chance in hell we’re letting go ever. We know this after only 6 months of having you here; I bet the longer you’re around someone, the harder it becomes to let you go. People don’t fall out of love overnight and most never do, even in light of egregious errors. Think on it and choose what’s best for you. Tomorrow will come, goodnight, my sweetheart.”

It’s not just womanly intuition, it’s something more. I think it just happens to be that women are more open to talking about their gut instincts and going with it. If my bew yee paw says her time’s up, then I have to just make the best of what’s left. Terribly, I’m realizing now how wonderful it was that she accepted all the suitors her grandnieces and nephews have marched through without judging based on skin color or nationality. She actively engaged with Beck during the Chinese New Year banquets (with me or my aunts as translator) and she vocally complimented on how handsome he was and a very good fit for her beautiful grandniece who bears an almost identical face to her older sister and her favorite niece. Now that I know the words she deliberately chose, I guess my dreams weren’t a message for me but her (hoping anyway). I’ll only have a few more chances to spend time with this adorable, loving and wise woman who gave up her life in Hong Kong to console and guide her nieces and nephews in America when her sister died too young at the age of 55. My aunt’s 70th birthday is later in September and there will be another large banquet where every family member will be present.We will celebrate vitality and longevity. We will celebrate them.

Treasure your elders: they carry the stories and histories of your parents, aunts and uncles. They remember their youths, dreams, desires and goals; they “sing” it back when someone’s lost/confused much like best friends do. They, elders and best friends, remind us of the things we forget but cherish anyway. Their shoulders are the ones we stand on for perspective: the foundation upon which we build and will be built upon.