Watch “Midnight Special” starring Michael Shannon and Kirsten Dunst for just a great sci-fi and “religious” experience (if you’ve ever seen “Cloud Atlas” and enjoyed it so will you enjoy this one, too). I remember being told that spiritual energy, the human soul, never dies. It just goes out and becomes something else in the next stage of life. My grandmother promised she’d always watch over and for me: my destiny is not yet done. Some people come into this world already possessing this transformation and it’s their burden to figure out the next steps without causing harm, without sinning against the balance of life and death. Try that one on when you’re just grasping your fourth language in as many years making up your life.
Serenity that’s all I’ve got in the moment. I’m serene with my station (which will eventually sky rocket or go bust), my relations, my memories and my love for you, Beck. I’ve forgiven you and I hope you’ve forgiven yourself as well. You have my gratitude for standing back and allowing my bonds of love toward your family members to continue without your interference. Though, I was sick with angst at the prospect of having to refuse this year’s red envelopes (something that is never done) given to me in your absence and having to explain just why on Chinese New Year when bad news is not welcome. I thought I might chicken out and leave the receiving and explanation to my mom or Banana but that’s unfair and unkind. It’s simply my responsibility, my burden and I’ve never been the type to cower from confrontation: never been good at being a coward and I’m not going to start now.
“…sometimes, you have to be numb to the ones you love because if you really felt all that love all the time, it would kill you. It’s just a sign of a big heart.” ~ Riding in Cars with Boys
“You don’t get it, do you? When you love somebody, really love somebody, you can’t be just friends!” ~ Diary of a Mad Black Woman
“You know you’re over it when you pass up the chance to hurt them, to get even. That’s when you’re over it. But when you take that chance for revenge and to hurt them the way they hurt you, then you’re not over it. That’s how you know when you’re over something.” ~ Madea