Doubtless

You should know I’ve never been the type of person who relied on her looks or used them to an unfair advantage. My mother forbade me to use make up before the age of 16, by which point, I didn’t have the same interest to use or perfect using beauty products as I did when I was say, 10 or 12. Even now, it’s still very basic make-up applications using only lip gloss/liner and mascara to highlight my best features. Mostly, I’ve gotten by on my intelligence and charisma, alone, all these years and never really got to gauge what it is that attracts strangers and acquaintances to me. Often, I’m surprised at the lengths to which men and women will go to fulfill my request(s) but it’s extremely helpful when I need something (assistance or product) outside business rules and social expectations. Today was one of those occasions.

I’m a papyrophiliac or ephemerist and can’t be kept away from my Moleskine planner OR my scrapbooking and cardmaking supplies. When I find heavy  100% cotton papers or beautiful journals, I have to have them! At Target tonight, I found a trio of small ledgers with the most tactile covers. On their muted color (turquoise, white and melon) covers were gold embossed words and numbers (Chapter One, Two and Three, respectively) and inside were mid-weight stock pages. There were no publishers mark on the inside OR outside of the covers, no SKU, no random packaging indicating if they were sold separately or together and only two “sets” (at least, that’s what I presented them as when I approached a young male Target employee for assistance). Now, let’s call this young man, “Rob,” whose presence had been shyly circling mine when I entered at 10 pm. I find it adorable when younger men are attracted to me (older men are my thing) because it’s been that way since I was a kid. At 11 years old, I was the babysitter for two boys, ages six and two. I loved playing with them when I was outside with my sister and brother, engaging them in our games of tag or kickball, during summer breaks or after-school and the youngest would follow me everywhere. His parents didn’t make it a secret that he had a crush on me and he had the most dense set of  beautiful eyelashes I’ve ever come across plus all the cuteness of a fat toddler holding onto his binky (pacifier). Come junior and senior high school, the number of infatuated young men kept adding up to the point that I was worried something was going wrong. You see, to this day, babies to thirty-something year olds (of the male persuasion, specifically) still circle around me and flock to meet my demands. Maybe it’s their curiosity or the fact that I’ve maintained my infectious and child-like wonder and joy which allows me to still “play” and kid around. Either way, it’s a useful (though, sometimes disconcerting) gift because Rob actually sold me the journal trio at the price I suggested when he asked if I had any idea what they cost (he worked mainly in the electronics department)! He made up a SKU for less than three dollars ($2.99 exactly) and when I got home to look them up online, I was shocked to find that they’re $39.99 a piece! Thank you, Target Rob 😀

Later, at the store (family owned business), three boys, their mother and paternal grandma were catching up with gossip/news: the adults were anyway. The tiniest boy (he seriously looked no older than 10 months) was trying to pull a chair up to where his older brothers were and that’s when I noticed he didn’t have any shoes on (in 38 degree weather!) I squatted down to his level which, I guess, is some silent signal to his brothers because they pounced on me: a 10, 4 and 2 year old were playing with me as if they’ve known me forever when all I wanted to know was where the baby’s shoes went. In blunt, child language, his older brother informed me the baby outgrew them and mommy and daddy weren’t able to buy more 😦 When it came time to go, the four year old rushed into his mom’s arms (beating the baby to the punch, I guess) and neither mom or grandma seemed to care that the baby was about to walk outside in his socks in 38 degree weather at 9 o’clock in the evening. The baby took it upon himself to grab my jeans, sweater, bra and hair (whatever he could hold onto for purchase) and with happy grunts/tugs/bounces indicated I should carry him and follow his brothers. So cute!

Since it’s men who predominately rule the world, do you think these are signs that I will someday rule the world, my friend? It’d be really easy to wrest control away, tehehe! If it’s really as easy as just getting older then, I’m all in for the game 😉

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