I’d like a break, God, please?

Update- My bank discovered the location from which my credit cards were used to steal the initial $250: the friggin’ European Union! I have no relations in the region nor did I make any purchases for a product made overseas. I had to do some sleuthing of my own when I saw the “Overdraft Protection Transfer Fees” listed next to five dollars removed from my savings accounts when the first $250 went through and then another $270. The $10 isn’t a big deal if I had signed up for the OD Protection program which I willfully opted out when I opened my accounts. Do you see the unethical issue with my bank moving my money from account to account without my knowledge or permission? The thief (thieves?) would not have made off with so much if the checking account had went to zero and stayed there. I understand that a bank may offer to draw from one to cover the expense of another account when the difference in amount is under $50, which was not the case for me. Instead, my bank “replenished” the checking portion with the exact amount that was in there before the fraudulent charge, BOTH TIMES, and had the audacity to bill me for the “courtesy” with their ODP fees! Dude, absolutely not cool. The other fucked up part: none of the branch managers caught the $10 charge when they looked at my accounts and if they did, they said nothing to me. I had to make the calls to the bank before the money was returned and now, I simply have “provisional credit” (meaning they can withdraw it at any time if they deem the missing $500 was somehow legit) until their investigation is over!


Five hundred dollars stolen from my checking account because the link between my savings and checking was never severed. Apparently, there are TWO kinds of Overdraft Protection. One allows the bank to charge anywhere from $2-$10 for EACH transaction made, after the balance has hit zero, regardless of total amount per purchase for which many big banks were fined for deceptive practices in enrolling each client (also, the one I deliberately opted out of when I opened my accounts). The second one allows money to be withdrawn from a savings account into checking to cover whatever negative balance has accrued UNLESS you, again, opt out of it *IF* you even know about it! Now, an investigation is being opened before I get the all clear from being a suspect in fraudulent activities in my OWN accounts! What the f–k!

I’m addicted to Biscoff Cookie Spread: it’s more volatile than Nutella and Bath Salts (the drug). Seriously, learn from my mistake and don’t become me: don’t take that first bite! (because it’s mine as is every tasty spoonful afterwards 😉 )

For the umpteenth (second in May) time in a row, it took me 3 hours to get to NJ. Why am I always delayed? Off and on rains, lousy drivers and THREE accidents plus road construction/detours on all major roadways (the CrossBronx is expected so I don’t even try but when the Henry Hudson, Van Wick and Cross Island Expressway are congested, the only alt route is LOCAL through Manhattan. If you’re not a native NYer in the Tri-state, PLEASE don’t drive into the city. You create accidents and pandemonium when it’s already insane with taxi drivers competing with limo services and MTA buses not giving a damn if you have the right of way! For your safety and mine, take public transportation, hitch a ride with family or friends who know how to maneuver the city streets or hire a driver, please!) I was 40 min late to pick up MD and another 20 to the salon.

Anyway, it was all worth it to see a happy pug greet me at the door as he’s torn between begging for table scraps and saying hello properly (i.e. pinning me against a wall as he demands scratches and dibs on all the scents clinging to my personal effects). Oh my, how much I’ve missed Albanian cuisine prepared by MD! PS and MD were in the middle of lunch (since I was running late) consisting of m favorite dish called mosk. It’s feta cheese, green jalapenos and red peppers sauteed with milk or butter. Definitely comfort food along with the yogurt bread MD makes from scratch that also includes homemade yogurt, yum! One of my biggest regrets in having to let go of them (my ex’s family as a unit) is the meals and company + Benji. It was sad to say goodbye to the same pug who makes a beeline for me when he realizes his mom and I made it back into the house, from the salon, before he did from his afternoon walk.

Moving on, MD’s hair came out phenomenal and so much better than our last visit 😀 I saw how ecstatic MD was while her hair being colored, cut and styled today. It was all falling into place at a very relaxed pace; some salons will rush a client because they’re over booked or simply don’t care and want to get everything over and done with, outcome and client’s satisfaction be damned! because it call came out perfect. She told me she hasn’t been this happy with a hairstylist since her friend/personal hairstylist left the Tri-State. Gisela is a master colorist and I’m glad MD has someone she trusts and enjoys again. A small kick to my gut was the soundtrack playing from the salon’s sound system because it was the same love song collection Beck and I enjoyed on many occasion chilling in my car. That CD broke into pieces and I’m pretty sure it’s no longer in circulation 😦 The songs invoked a lot of memories, nostalgia and relaxed ambiance…

Finally, I’m going to admit to all of you and myself that I made it to the place you told me I would 10 months ago: I’ve let go of my ex 98% of the way. I don’t have an interest in who he’s loving, if he thinks of me as much as I think of him, if he still cares as I do: just as long as he’s well and his family whole. I miss him, I love him but I’m not yearning for his company as strongly as I was even just as recently as four or five months ago. I know distance can make the heart grow fonder however, in my case, it’s freezing over mine. I am loyal and sensitive to my loved ones and close connections/communication (via texts, emails, phone calls, lunches/dinners, etc.) have always reinforced my affections towards them. I’m surprised it happened this fast, too. I really thought it might take a whole year or sadistically, more. Time to give it all up?

Maybe, we don’t leave fragments of a life behind in one dramatic goodbye or even series of them. Maybe it occurs the way I felt it happening today: in soft claps of finality and a sense of peace with each mile gone. I love fast cars and driving at breakneck speeds. I used to get lost on purpose or drive all the way to Montauk to scream into a void until things made sense again. The blur of the background matching the blur clouding my eyes, heart and mind.