Marvelous friends

Since I’ve gone running into the waiting arms of the people I trust enough to share my inner world, I’m still taken back that the network functions the way I wanted it to because I didn’t think it was possible. Many people will say I’m outgoing and warm but they’re also kept at arms length and trying to force past my boundaries has catastrophic results. Perhaps more difficult than gaining my trust is maintaining it: I have high expectations of those I let in and though I am always available to socialize or use my energy to help a falling friend, I set the bar to my privacy even higher. Mostly, I need years to evaluate someone’s worthiness and mettle before I begin confiding little things like a childhood event, good or bad, that shaped my view on society and its participants. I still believe that words have meanings, that the ones you love (who are not blood related family) deserve three chances to prove themselves, judge no one the way you would not judge yourself, true friendships will stand the test of time and distance and how it’s impossible to love someone else if you don’t love yourself. Thus, years can pass before I see and spend time with a great friend. We pick up where we left off and there are no grudges held about the infrequent communication: we exist in the moment and we’ll take it away with us when we part. I know many people would not tolerate a friendship that functions like that and some fall off the wayside so, it’s a pleasant surprise that I gauged my friends correctly. Neediness/dependency are attributes my friendships do not have. Appreciation, honesty and integrity definitely are some of the building blocks required of my friendships as well as my romantic relationships.